I wanted to pen this down, because I was riddled with many behavioural problems I see today in our society. And the crux of all this is the people trying to recognize the world in stark black and white. But the world is too grey to distinguish between right and wrong, and that’s exactly how things have started to turn ugly.
Men and women are blaming each other for almost everything, and the worst is to see some people pulling others down for every frigging thing. People are living in a misbelief that now the world has changed,
but we have come a long way to find that nothing has changed at all!
Today if someone is pregnant, and her or her husband’s family wishes for a girl child, they’re considered modern, strong and open-minded. Now, wishing for a boy child has suddenly turned into a taboo. People feel a lot of pride in saying ‘We are ready to abandon the child if he turns out to be a boy. We will only raise a girl’. It is disheartening to find that all the efforts put together by people and movements and campaigns, have gone in vain, as now the problem has not vanished but only drifted towards the other direction.
I overhear conversations about women who choose family over career and decide to quit their jobs after having a baby. They are looked down upon by their colleagues and family members and seen as being unambitious women in the current trend of the society. This is not the strength that we all have been fighting for. A woman has her own choice. Trolling and oppressing a woman for pursuing her dream job, is as bad as trolling and oppressing her for considering her family above everything else. Why is it so hard for us to swallow the fact, that it’s entirely upon the couple to decide what they want to do with their family?
If the man decides to look after the family and the woman decides to work, we look down upon them for their decision. If it’s the other way round, we look down upon them for their decision. If they both are working, but their family life is highly disturbed, we look down upon them for their decision. Why do we want our judgements to be the decider of others’ lives ? Have we ever taken that much of pain to look into our own life troubles?
Now I see men saying “Ohh you’re an independent woman, why do you need my assistance? Why should I help you with paying your bills? Why can you not go there alone ? Are you not one of those strong women?”, and find their easy escape out of difficult situations.
An extremist mentality is doing nothing but creating confusions and potential divide amongst the various sections of our society. It is also affecting the efforts and courage with which people are bringing up serious issues. Movements like feminism were formed by some amazingly sharp and brave thinkers. But over time, dumb witted people joined and suddenly the focus isn’t so sharp any more. Now suddenly people are getting distracted by that shiny thing over there.
I had recently shared my views about the movie ‘Kabir Singh’ on facebook, which was in no way misandrous. It was what it was, the reality! and I found a lot of posts, texts, messages crawling out to troll the ‘overfeminism’ dancing all over social media. It is too easy for people to think “a movie is just a movie, why can’t these feminists take it like that?”. It is equally difficult for them to understand that unlike them, there are some uneducated/illiterate audience in the society (and it CANNOT be denied) which worships cinema and takes it as their means of social education. It is very important to take that into consideration, when someone with such a huge fan following, is showing something on a large scale. A pinch of sense of public duty, is all these feminists are asking for.
But now females are wary of saying “I’m a feminist or I support #MeToo Movement”. And the hatred for or misconception of those words makes me sad.
All because of the confusion created by the bigoted, chauvinistic and extremist minds out there. Suddenly women stop obeying men. Suddenly men start hating women. Suddenly men start blaming women and their feminism, the brunt of which they think they are bearing. Why is it difficult for men to correct their own friend circles when they see them doing or thinking of something so out of line, that it can cause new laws to be formed and which then possibly can make their lives even more difficult ?
Why can women not correct their own circle when they see them misusing their privileges or falsely accusing someone innocent, and which can create further hatred towards feminism and #MeToo?
Things have become so complex, because there is so much push back by these extremist mentalities, that sometimes anything we do as feminists is seen as “extreme”. It is high time people realise it, otherwise they would be like those blind folded idiots, who think they are walking day and night towards development, and end up realising, that they were only dawdling over nothing but a damn treadmill!